Thursday, August 11, 2011

It's 3am I must be lonely

No, actually it's 4am and I'm hyperventilating. First, I somehow missed a VERY IMPORTANT email from my lawyer telling me when I should I have my waiver docs in her hands and it's, oh, TEN DAYS AWAY.  I mean, none of these letters has even been written yet and it's very difficult to get people here (in ES) that want to/will write the letters.
And then, the reason I even went to write her in the first place was because I was freaking out after reading blogs and came across this family who is going through the same waiver process as us. She had gone to a meeting at the embassy here and spoken with the "head of immigration cases" who said:

We asked if living in El Salvador while we are waiting will have a negative effect on our cases and she answered a definite "yes". (…) She said if you are living in El Salvador then what is your hardship? You're already proving you can do it.
This has been my biggest fear in starting the process all along and now it's been confirmed by the "head of immigration cases"!!!! It's sickening to be penalized for not wanting to be separated from your spouse. As if it was soooooo easy to uproot my life and come here. As if it wasn't a major decision that I didn't take lightly and that life here is just easy peasy. As if I wasn't sitting in my room here, counting the days until we can go home like a prisoner carving X's on a concrete wall of their jail cell. AS IF!!!
Further, several things that have definitely made my life and transition here easier will definitely work against having to prove hardship. Things such as: speaking fluent Spanish (which in theory should mean I can easily integrate myself into my community-yeah right), having a job (clearly I can support us, don't worry about that mountain of debt and student loans I pay every month), and the worst to me—not having kids. You know, we WANT KIDS. In fact we're at the point where we want them now. So many things hold us back though, like me not wanting to give birth in a free clinic in Chalate, not wanting to travel back to the US and give birth without my husband there to support me, not wanting to be pregnant and uncomfortable in the CAMPO. I know the people here do it but I'm scared. I'm already freaked out enough about delivering a person into the world from my body, now I feel pressured to get pregnant so it will help our hardship/waiver case!
In other visa news, we made the l o n g voyage to San Salvador to apply for M's visa to Spain. Of course everything we had was wrong wrong WRONG, so we'll be returning there when we have all the right documents together. Someone out there say a prayer that his visa is processed quickly. I need to get out of here, and by here I mean this house. We need our own place, our own space. His family has been very generous in letting us stay here and we are very grateful. But I'm ready to….spread my wings? Escape? Get the freak outta here? I'm thinking of taking an unscheduled detour to the US for a week or so. This has the added benefit of restarting my 90 day tourist visa so that's a good excuse. El Salvador, I need a break today. And I have not seen one kit kat in this country yet.


Jennifer Reyes said...

What a great blog! I just spent the last two hours reading through while I should have been washing clothes. Your honesty is refreshing. I've been here for over 2 years and I still can't get used to the changes. Good luck to you and your hubby and I will be checking in for updates.

julie said...

Thank you so much Jennifer! I just spent the last two hours reading yours as well and I can't wait to read more. I love getting comments!

And do you hear that, my friends in the US?!! I need comments to motivate me to keep writing!

Traci said...

I just learned how to comment! I really hope that everything works out for you guys. I hope that being in ES doesn't hurt things.

Matt said...

i'm more inclined to comment when i dont get emails saying omgneedcomments
we're goin to annapolis for your thingamabob apostille thing in a min.

Anonymous said...

hey Julie

this is Mom

can you post some links to some of the other es blogs you follow?

And many as it takes to get her and M back home again

Kelsey said...

I know my post was did not help you feel more positive about your situation, but look what happened. We ended up getting approved even after that woman told me I didn't have any hardships. I know our hardships are different, but you still have a good chance. El Salvador has a good percentage of approvals, so don't get too down on this. You are a brave and strong woman for doing what you are doing. Trust me, I have been there. As for the getting pregnant, do NOT do that for immigration sake! Wait until you get back and establish your life again. It was sooo hard to raise a baby down there for a year and a half. There were good things about it like the fact that she is fluently bilingual now and I'm glad she had that time in that environment so it can give her perspective, but she's only 2 1/2 and it was hard. Don't worry, things will work out!

Another thing I want to ask though is if you are trying to go to Spain while waiting during the process or what that plan is. The embassy in El Salvador is basically the only one that does take the passports at the interview and I've heard you can ask for it back, but don't actually know of anyone who did get it back. I don't mean to get you down, just a heads up!

julie said...

Thanks for writing Kelsey. This is something I hadn't consider but whose passport do they need? Mine or his? I've read you can get a duplicate passport for instances like this but I hadn't even thought about. We are processing in San Salvador but then spending October through May in Spain. Thanks for the heads up.

Kelsey said...

They will keep his passport at the interview.