Saturday, February 4, 2012

So it goes...

Oh blog readers, I've neglected you and I feel like so much has happened but I haven't had the strength to tell you all. I read a lot of blogs and I know what it's like when all of a sudden they drop off the face of the earth and you're left wondering, whatever happened to them? I'm going to keep this as honest and as vague as possible.


Basically, there's been a lot of….marital issues…stuff that started like 2+ years ago. Or 4 really. So the short story is, M is still in El Salvador. He wasn't going to come to Spain but then he got jumped on the bus to San Salvador and said he wanted to get away and come to Spain for a little bit. And I was sort of dreading it. I was dreading the possible fights, and the sleeping arrangements, and all the associated drama that I felt like I had escaped by living alone here in Spain. Living alone here has been so good for me. Therapeutic even. I've always considered myself responsible and able to take care of myself but I've become independent in a different way here. Emotionally independent if that's even a thing. I would definitely say M and I had a codependent relationship.


So after laying down some ground rules we bought him a plane ticket and he flew from San Salvador to Madrid. I was waiting for him at the airport when I got a call. He was being detained and was awaiting an interview for more questioning. I started crying. I was crying for him, I was crying for me, I was crying because I felt like we were on the brink of some closure but maybe this wasn't the right place for it. And then I was crying because I felt an overwhelming guilt because deep down I felt this wave of….relief.


Salvadorans don't need visas to go to Spain but turns out that doesn't mean they can just show up like Americans can. I realize this was pretty naïve on my part but if I had known we would have been much better prepared but I had no idea. I'm pretty sure had we been together at the airport, they would've let him in but that's neither here nor there. They asked him a bunch of questions and denied him entry. He's not in any trouble or anything, and he's not barred from coming to Spain some other time. But he had to sit in detention for 48 hours before they sent him back to El Salvador. And he wasn't allowed any visitors or contact besides phone calls.


 So where does that leave me now? Well, I'm still here in Spain, working for the moment. My contract is up at the end of May and I could stay here or go back to the US or go somewhere else. It's kinda up in the air right now but I'm leaning towards going back to the US this summer and looking for a job.